Ted 2 – Review ***


Let’s be honest: after 10,000 Ways to Die in the West anything that Seth MacFarlane did after would have to be, necessarily, so much better. And Ted 2 is so much better, but still – we haven’t forgot MacFarlane!  You’re in serious probation!!

The story starts with the wedding between Ted (voiced by MacFarlane) and Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth). We’re also informed that Mila Kunis did not want to be involved in this film, as John (Mark Wahlberg) is now divorced. And soon Ted himself starts to feel the pangs of marriage himself, as he and Tami-Lynn argue all the time. As he’s told that the secret for a great marriage is to have a baby (I can’t even..), and because he lacks, you know, genitals, he goes on a quest to find a sperm donor (cue sperm jokes). Then as Tami-Lynn can’t conceive, they go through the adoption route. Problem is, Ted is not a real person (duh), and as soon as the State realises that, it starts taking away his rights and treating him as a property. But Ted, together with pot-head lawyer Samantha (Amanda Seyfried) and his porn-obsessed friend John, fight back to get this Teddy Bear some civil rights.

Ted watches the new Terminator movie

Ted watches the new Terminator movie

It may lack some of the shock value of the first one, but Ted 2 makes up for it with more sophisticated jokes (but still mostly about drugs and sex, don’t worry, teenagers). It even dares to completely geek out as the final scene happens at the New York Comic Con. But in the end of the day, it’s still a film about a fowl-mouthed teddy bear who wants to be a real person (*yawn). In true Family Guy style, the simplistic plotline is just a pretext for one liners and occasional gags. And though some are great – cue Liam Neeson buying kids’ cereal or the Jurassic Park soundtrack moment – it’s just not enough to hold a feature film. It would maybe work if there were way too more (take example of Team America, MacFarlane), but when Ted 2 starts taking its poor excuse of a story seriously – you know, the power of friendship bla bla bla – man, are we bored or what?


At least this time the good jokes aren’t ALL in the trailer. Amanda “My Precious” Seyfried is a good replacement for Kunis, and Wahlberg seems a bit lost, knowing he can do so much better than to talk to the empty pre-CGI space, but hey. Still. That Jurassic Park moment. Soon on a youtube link close to you.

Ted 2 will be in UK cinemas from 8th July 2015

Sara is originally from Coimbra, Portugal, where she studied Film Studies before moving to London to enrol in film school. Having made her first short film about her neighbour's chickens when she was 9 (a dystopian sci-fi, still her favourite genre), she is now a London-based film director and editor, and also a writer for the Portuguese Take Magazine. She is a huge fan of Lars Von Trier, Krysztof Kiéslowski, and David Lean.