We’re more than halfway through the season! It’s been a roller-coaster of emotions, and while we’re still wiping the tears away after last week (#holdthedoor), this week’s episode is much milder, with some family matters, a few revelations (already figured out by the nice people of the Internet) and no deaths. Yep, that’s right. This one is safe to watch during our grieving period. Also, despite the episode’s title, there are no big revelations about the parentage of everyone’s favourite sad face.
Meera is pulling It’s All His Fault Bran along, running away from the White Walkers, while he keeps having Previously on Game of Thrones Visions. In the middle of past footage, however, we finally get to see the infamous Mad King Aerys II Targaryen and his great government politics (#AerysforPresident2016) which kept everyone warm in King’s Landing before the Usurper came along and spoiled everything for everyone. Meera ain’t Hodor (*sad face), and she has been skipping arm day, so the Ice Zombies catch up with her and Bran pretty quickly. Fortunately for them, the show runners decided to throw in a not so mysterious horseman that comes to the deus ex machina rescue, burning the cold freaks and riding into the sunrise with Bran and Meera.
In the warmer side of Westeros, Sam and Gilly arrive at his family’s castle, and his Dad is as much of a t*at as we could hope for. Not exactly keen on finding his oldest son not only failed to become a Man and lose some weight at the Wall, but also seriously aggrieved he knocked up a Wildling and brought her home, Mr. Tarly Senior expels Sam from the house, not before making some rude comments about how much of a disappointment he became. And you thought Christmas with the family was hard… Luckily for the plot, instead of leaving Gilly and Little Sam behind inside a nice comfortable castle, with access to good clothes and bath water, and under the protection of his mother and sister, Sam decides to take them with him to Old Town, not before “borrowing” the family heirloom (a massive Valyrian Steel sword) as well. (you never know, it might come in handy).
In Braavos, Arya watches yet another performance of that Game of Thrones knock-off theatre play, and prepares herself to kill the actress and complete her Faceless Killer training. But tormented by her conscience (good actresses are hard to find), a girl decides to give the finger to the House of Black and White, warn the actress of her rival’s intentions, and go dig up her sword Needle to stick it in her bully. And we’re all eager to see that.
Back in King’s Landing, Margaery prepares herself for her walk of Shame, but the Lannisters and Tyrells appear with their spears and AK-47s to confront the High Sparrow. Unfortunately for them, Mr. Sparrow managed to brainwash both Margaery and King Tommen, and make them announce the union of the State and the Church, as if the French Revolution never happened. This also means Tommen fires his uncle/father and sends him to the Riverlands to talk to the Blackfish. Remember him, the one that got away from the Red Wedding because of his bladder? If you don’t, let’s just quickly check on Mr. Frey (he’s still alive??? Gods we hate him!) and a severely mistreated Edmure Tully.
After we find that the mysterious horseman is, dum dum dum, Benjen Stark (*yawn… wait, he does know who Jon Snow’s mother is, doesn’t he? Ohhhhh…), who stopped half way becoming a White Walker (fancy), we finish with Daenerys riding along, impressing the khals with her massive Dragon. Not much of an ending after last week’s, but hey, only three more episodes for number 9, right? Bastard Bowl here we come!!
“Blood of my Blood” is slowly planting the seeds for Hell to break loose pretty soon, as the situations in King’s Landing and Braavos reach boiling point. Also, plenty of material to reflect upon until next week, for the conspiracists between us. There is definitely a case for that theory about Bran intervening in the past, and showing (by accident?) the White Walkers to Aerys II, making him go mad and very keen on burning everything (the best way to get rid of ice zombies when there isn’t much Valyrian steel around). Time travel paradoxes, don’t we love them? Not bad as well, for one of the most boring storylines from the Westeros world, a title that seems to have been now stolen by the Daenerys Conquering the East thingy. Oh well. Burn them all, Daenerys, burn them all.
Sex Scenes: This season is clearly being written by some Dragon-loving mormons. There is an incestuous kiss, and that’s about it.
Nudity: No walk of shame, no gratuitous boobies.
Best moment: Gilly standing up to her father-in-law
Flashbacks that add nothing to the plot and a lot to internet discussions: One.
Overgrown dragons: One
Where in the World is Jon Snow? : Nobody knows.
Game Of Thrones airs on Sky Atlantic on Mondays at 9pm